Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Top 10 Most Awkward Places I've found SHAVINGS!

I follow a LOT of horse companies/groups/whatevers on Facebook...It's almost impossible not to.

One of these pages that I follow is simply called, "The Horse." Creative! Today, they posted a link to their own blog, to an entry entitled The Top 10 Goofy Places I've Found Bits Of Hay. LOL! I could relate to ALL of them, seriously, except my issue is not with hay...but with those DARN shavings! Who's with me??

Just looking at this is giving me anxiety.

Image Source: www.dodgegrain.biz 
Our barn, for some reason, tends to switch shaving companies, or qualities, or something just about every time they order new shavings. Why? Who knows, but we are constantly noticing differences in the stalls.  Some shavings are dustier than others (like, a nice coating on everything on the premises), sometimes the manager must want to save money, because we end up with small wood CHUNKS in our shavings, and sometimes they appear pretty normal. Go figure.

That being said, I figured I should contribute a little bit today, and share with you.....

The Top 10 Most Awkward Places I've Found SHAVINGS

1. My Bra - I have to start out with this one, because it is for SURE the most awkward. Nothing says "I'm a crazy horse lady!!" quite like a bra full of shavings. Bonus points if they stick to your boob when you take your bra off.

2. My Hair - On a day that I either haven't been to the barn yet, or don't plan on going to the barn. To take it a step further, when someone else points it out to you.

3. Clean Laundry - The keyword here is CLEAN. And of course, by this point, the shavings are practically woven into the fabric of whatever just came out of the dryer. Nice.

4. My Car - Of course, this was expected. Doesn't make it any less super embarrassing to pull up to the car wash and have the guys gasp at the amount of sheer crap is in your car.  Time to bust out the ShopVac!

5. My Helmet, Gloves, & Breeches - I don't always wear a helmet, but when I do, it's inevitably covered in shavings. No, no, just the inside...the outside would be too easy to clean.

For winters here in California, I just go every year and buy a cheap pair of your typical Target gloves. I'll tell you WHAT. That material is like a magnet for shavings...It eventually gets to the point where you just surrender, and live with the fact that you will ride in shaving-covered gloves for a few months. Then throw those suckers away. Chances are, they're unraveling anyways.

No matter how skin-tight your breeches are (I ride in Kerrits tights), you WILL go to take them off and find at least one shaving in them. One little...bitty...jerk.

6. My Face - Rio eats his food (EVERY TIME) by pulling it all out of his hanging food bin, and throwing it around his stall. Then he goes back and hunts for each piece, and eats them one by one off the floor.  This is fantastic, until he pops his head out of his stall and wipes his mouth all over my face when I lean in for a kiss. Go Rio! You just don't ever feel clean again after that happens during your visit to the barn.

7. Various Barn Animals - We have a resident cat - who I'm told is there to hunt mice, but I have YET to see him work a day in his life.  He tends to stay fairly clean, even in the muddy months, except for random shavings caught in his tail and belly. Those bastards.  Also included - visiting dogs!

We don't have sheep or goats at our barn...this might be why.
8. Sink Drain - What's the first thing you do when you come home and get settled after a visit to the barn? You wash your hands (at least, I hope) if you aren't jumping in the shower. Well. Eventually I have to clean out that drain of the hair and whatever else...ANNNND shavings.

9. My Frappuccino - We have a Starbucks nearby, and sometimes we'll run over there before we ride. You know, to make sure we're good and fat for our only exercise.  I ALWAYS put my cup either on top of my tack box, or supplement container...or somewhere. Just never on the floor in my horse's stall, lol.  Somehow, the condensation on my cup always screws me. Always.

10. Your Horse's Wiener - I'm gonna say it - it had to be said. I saved it for last to be as tactful as possible (and so that would be the one to stick in your mind! HA!).  Nothing more bonding for you and your horse than for you to respectfully clean his peepee of the shavings. Teamwork!

What are some hilariously strange places you've found shavings?

Happy Trails!

The Horse Junkie

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